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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25815832">Jokes on You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/OceanHeart23/pseuds/OceanHeart23'>OceanHeart23</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Rest of the team 100 percent approves, Wanda Maximoff &amp; Peter Parker Friendship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:20:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,281</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25815832</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/OceanHeart23/pseuds/OceanHeart23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>As a thank you to Peter saving her, Wanda focuses on pranking Sam through a series of recommended pranks her Pinterest page offered her courtesy of Darcy. Or otherwise known as an Epilogue to Sanctuary.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Wanda Maximoff &amp; Peter Parker, Wanda Maximoff &amp; Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>43</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Jokes on You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A/N: The epilogue to Sanctuary primarily gen and friendship focusing on Wanda and Peter.<br/>Warnings: There is the occasional swear word. Also this story is unbeta'd so future apologies for any grammatical mistakes.<br/>Disclaimer: I do not own Spiderman or the Avengers and make no money from writing this.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With Wanda settling back into the tower, it was a relief to find she wasn't overly crowded and allowed her space. Yet at the same time she was not left completely alone. And F.R.I.D.A.Y was a blessing to wake her up from nightmares, before they got too rough. She was seeing one of the recommended psychiatrists from Tony and slowly working on getting her life back together.</p><p>	It was because of her new friendship with Peter, that she felt inspired to help him with his crusade of pranking Sam Wilson. She had noticed that Sam had a tendency to often make jokes and smart remarks on Peter whether about his age or size. This prompted Peter of course to retaliate through pranks. Yet for all his brains he was abysmal at them and all too often was caught in the act. He required special help, and who better than someone with probability manipulating powers. Though she may resort to something more old school. Darcy helped her set up a pinterest page which had no shortage of ideas.</p><p>	Her first one started when she was trying one of her therapy exercises with journaling. She observed Sam in the kitchen area by himself making a pot of coffee. Perfect. Using her powers she levitated a sign she made last night from on top of the fridge that already had some masking tape on it and carefully placed it on his back with him none the wiser carefully hiding her expression Wanda focused her attention back on journaling.</p><p>	Sure enough several hours and pages later Sam walked in looking extremely irritated, while Natasha and Clint were conversing in the kitchen. They saw his back, while he slammed the fridge door open to get to his water bottle. Nat maintained her expression but the corner of her mouth twitched the slighted bit, as Clint grinned before whistling the Andy Griffin theme song. </p><p>	“Fuck!! Why is everyone on God's green earth whistling that today?!” </p><p>	Clint still not losing a bit of his smile peeled the sign off the back of his shirt and showed it to him. The paper sign read in sharpie: Please whistle the Andy Griffin theme song at me! Make my day :)</p><p>	“Because you asked us to man.”</p><p>	Sam crushed the paper in his hands. “Who the hell did this? Was this you?”</p><p>	“Right you caught me. I who haven't even seen you all day managed to get this sign on your back, and I've just kept myself from gloating until now.”</p><p>	“Well who the hell was it? It's not like Wanda or Nat are the type to pull this, and also because I haven't done anything to them either.”</p><p>	“And you did something to me? Look I don't know man but when you find out let me know, so I can shake their hand. That was a good one.”</p><p>	Sam further crushed the paper into a ball and threw it at Clint's face before storming off. Clint chortled before moving back to his cereal. Natasha caught Wanda's eye and gave her a slight knowing glance but said nothing more. Wanda smiled turning back to her journaling. That went well but now she already got several more ideas in mind for what to do next.</p><p>	Some of the Avengers had just finished practicing some training drills and were now leaving to head back and hit the showers. It was just her, Sam, Bucky, Rhodey, and Scott. The last two had excused themselves to head home, as neither lived at the tower. So Wanda got to witness first hand Bucky finally noticing Sam's wings before bursting out into laughter. </p><p>	“What? What the hell are you laughing at?” He snapped, when it didn't appear that Bucky was stopping any time soon.</p><p>	When he eventually did compose himself, he straightened up before rubbing at his mouth. “Oh hang on stay still. I need to get a picture on this. Steve is going to need to see this.” He took out his phone and snapped several pictures while Sam was staying still in confusion, before he moved demanding to see what he was looking at. Apparently on the back of his wings were the painted words in neon green pain: To Infinity and Your Mom.</p><p>	“Oh I'm going to kill someone and if this was you? I'm going to kill you twice.”</p><p>	Bucky snorted remaining stoutly unconvinced. “You mean you would try, as if you wouldn't find yourself flat on your ass Wilson.”</p><p>	“You want to go right now Barnes?”</p><p>	“As much I'd love to kick your ass and trust me I would. I'm already late to meet someone. So rain check on that but have fun scrubbing your wings clean!” He said before moseying off. He missed seeing Sam flip him off behind his back before walking off making angry mumbling threats. Wanda casually strolled back. No one around to see her smile that would look as if she just was enjoying the sunshine. </p><p>	The next time it happened Steve, Tony, Bruce, and Wanda were all once more congregated in the kitchen area, as Steve began making lunch for everyone and working on the sides for sandwiches. Steve and Tony were in a back and forth debate about upgrades to Steve's motorcycle. The latter having no appreciation for the former keeping it tech free and so old fashioned.</p><p>	 Bruce sat curled over some notes and science journals he had brought up, while Wanda sat reading the Hunger Games with her silver mug with pink writing that read: Good Witch of the North on the front Tony had gotten her. It didn't take long before Sam's inarticulate cry of rage to reach them before he came storming in.</p><p>	“Okay I want to know who's doing this and I want to know now! This has gone far enough!!”</p><p>	“Whoa Sam calm down. What are you talking about?” Steve asked in a calm and measured manner holding out his hands in the universal calm down motion.</p><p>	“What am I talking about? I'll show you what I'm talking about.” Sam began spitefully holding up a picture frame before thrusting it forward. “Is THIS!”</p><p>	Steve and Tony moved to take a closer look at the small frame both looking completely bewildered.</p><p>	“Am I missing something here? Because I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to be looking at.”</p><p>	Tearing the picture frame away he forcefully set it on the counter still visibly fuming. “I'm talking about that someone is a little shit and thinks they can get away with murder on top of everything else they'd done. Now they've placed Morgan Freeman's face in front of all of the pictures of me in my room! You better believe after this I'm setting traps for this person. They are freaking insane.”</p><p>	Tony cackled a bit, while Steve and Bruce did their best to hide their amusement. Wanda merely took another sip of her tea glad F.R.I.D.A.Y was recording this. She had been working on her impassive 'I totally didn't do this face' and was sure it was damn near perfect. Watching Natasha definitely helped. If there was an award for this Wanda was sure she'd get it.</p><p>	“It's not funny! I had to remove like two dozen of this geezer's face including my wallet shots. I'm sick of this. Tell your computer to tell me which one of you is doing this.”</p><p>	“Oh no, I've told you already. I'm not having F.R.I.D.A.Y get in the middle of this. If it doesn't involve me, you can solve this yourself.” Peering down at him from above his sunglasses, Tony continued without sympathy. “Use your head Wilson this isn't theoretical physics, and there's only 10 people who live here. You can either bribe me to tell you for which I won't. I actually have money on you not figuring it out. So I'm good with this.”</p><p>	When Sam opened his mouth to argue that, Tony steam rolled on. “Plus Freeman is a damn handsome man. You could only hope to look so good 40 plus years from now. I for one would hope I age like Sean Connery or anyone else who ages like a fine wine.”</p><p>	Bruce snorted before turning back to his coffee now that the fun had worn off and looking down over his notes.</p><p>	Taking a deep breath Sam pinched his forehead before muttering to himself that this was some bullshit and why did he even bother living here again. </p><p>	“Hey Language.” Steve corrected with a frown. He picked up the picture frame and slid it open to remove Morgan's picture to reveal a close up picture of Sam and his mom. “See easily removed no harm done. Honestly Sam it's just a few pranks and harmless ones at that. But if you'd like I can have a team meeting set up to talk about it. We haven't had one in awhile now that I think about it.”</p><p>	“With good reason because they're snore fests especially when Fury is here. No offense Capsicle.” </p><p>	“Offense taken but go off I guess.”</p><p>	Everyone stared at Steve a second obviously not expecting at the retort, while Tony broke out in surprised laughter.</p><p>	“Okay you've got to stop picking up phrases from Peter, as it's equal parts funny and frightening. Though if you ever say lit, flex, on fleek, or shook, I'm going to ask eye-patch to instate a new Captain America.”</p><p>	Wanda objectively wondered if it was sad that Mr Stark nearing his fifties knew more slang words then she did. Also if it was more sad for her or him.</p><p>	Sam meanwhile grabbed his picture and huffed before leaving the room with one final warning. Shaking his head Steve turned his head back to the sandwiches he was going to make.</p><p>	“Well I believe I'm due back at the labs. I bid you adieu my beloved teammates. Farewell my darling green rage monster, Oh captain my captain, and dear Glinda and oh before I forget.” Tossing a folded up piece of paper at Wanda who caught it with a puzzled glance.</p><p>	“Some decorating tips for your new room.” He threw a kiss to them all before leaving, even as Steve rolled his eyes in begrudging fondness making a note to set him aside a plate, if he was headed back down to bury and confine himself down in his lab for days. </p><p>	Opening up the paper were the words: Had another idea for you. Along with instructions on how to break into Sam's phone. Wanda could barely keep her slow burgeoning smirk in check. Gotta win that Oscar or Emmy or whatever the award was.</p><p>	At long last reached the end of the week marking Peter's arrival at the tower. Once he had finished catching up with a few others. He joined Wanda in her new room recently decorated courtesy from a shopping trip with Pepper and Morgan and was babbling away about school and superhero related things. The unicorn was kept and taken up residence in the corner. It gave some character to the room, and Wanda named him silver both as a tribute to her brother and after the old ranger movie.</p><p>	Peter lit up at seeing her and gave a low whistle at the room. “You redecorated! It looks very nice and I approve of the color choices.” Eying all the different scarlet reds. Wanda beckoned him closer to have a seat next to her on the bed.</p><p>	“Thank you. Come sit I think you'll be interested to hear that I have a surprise for you.”</p><p>	Peter stared at her a bit confused. “Really? What is it? I know it's not my birthday.”</p><p>	Lips twitching she had F.R.I.D.A.Y show the past week's pranks played on Sam that had Peter letting out peals of laughter. Never let it be said that she couldn't do a job well done. Wiping away a few tears Peter got out. </p><p>	“Have I ever told you that you're awesome, because if not then it needs to be said. That was amazing and we're saving the footage.”</p><p>	“There's actually one more.”</p><p>	“Oh really?” Peter asked lightly, still pretty amused. “What else did you do?”</p><p>	Wanda shifted getting more comfortable on the bed before sharing with a small grin. “Tony gave me some tips on how to break into his phone, so I changed most of his phone contacts to Dennis Quaid.” She always had a soft spot for twin movies and ever since discovering it she had fallen in love with the Parent Trap. </p><p>	Peter nearly choked in disbelief before releasing an unflattering snorting giggle. “I hope he doesn't blame me for this, because when he finds out he is going to be on a warpath and probably have me in my sights now that I'm here.”</p><p>	“Relax spider, I would never allow harm to come to my new friend. He would as you say have to go through me.”</p><p>	As if on cue they heard a resounding shout. “SON OF A MOTHERFUCKING BITCH AND TWO BIT WHORE!!!”</p><p>	Followed closely by “LANGUAGE!!! FOR PETE'S SAKE SAM!!”</p><p>	This led them to another round of laughter, as they both collapsed on the bed struggling to breathe. Luckily F.R.I.D.A.Y had caught that reaction on tape. </p><p>	“Guess he saw his phone.”</p><p>	“I believe this is a great time to go for a walk. Care to join me Peter?”</p><p>	“Lead the way Wanda far FAR away from Sam if possible.” He said with a chuckle, as she grinned. The two took the expressway straight out the window.</p>
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